05-July-19 : Daily Log

It has been a series of tough drinking days for last two days. In spite of the fact that I drank at least two bottle on average, My mind was clear than ever not like the other wasted nights. That's probably because especially yesterday, it was not just a simple day to hang out with my old friends. here's something changed since we started our own job. back in school, we usually spent 100% of our energy on that moment without thinking about tomorrow or so-called future. but when we met yesterday, something seems changed. I could feel, I can guarantee the other my friends felt in the same way as I do. while having a dinner, drinking soju and side dishes, we were not able to focus on our table not just because the surroundings are tearing up my eardrums, but because each of us has somebody left and waiting for us back at home. 

One strange thing on that night was one of my friends noticed his girlfriend he's gonna go back home sooner (it was about 10 PM), then his girlfriend was a bit surprised and said 'it's too early to come back home, why don't you guys hang out some more?'. I was also stunned and stalling at the moment because my wife also called me she's on the way home, she doesn't want to bother my tables. however earlier before started this table, I told her I would go early to pick her up on the way back home! 

I don't think I can define what I was feeling at that particular moment, but it was for sure not sadness but it's more or less close to the feeling of missing the old days of ours. 

Anyway, the subject that we had last night was mostly about "marriage", not about what the fuck is marriage but about the boys who want to marry desperately to their current partner but don't have any idea HOW!  here's the brief summary of their situation.

Boy Num 1.

the situation is not very complicated. they could go further if both of them agree upon their future. however here's a bit tricky part of it. the background of his partner is socially well-recognized. it's not a thing to be blamed when you think about the marriage. we usually or all the time say marriage is not a thing in the fairy tales. it's about reality that you have to confront every day. Therefore for the guy who's got an ordinary job in Korea, it can not be simplified just because they want to get married. They also have to consider the others. the others basically mean 'parents'. the thought of her parents does not look easy to overcome. but I have a strong feeling that they will end up getting married happily. 

Boy Num 2.

What this boy has is fucking complicated so I don't even want to get involved on this. however, this guy cries every time we met, I can not but help to give him my full support on his breakthrough. my friend and his girl met when they were still students at the university. that means it's been almost 8 years they are in a relationship. seemingly those two also had some similar part. but also they had a different thought on the marriage. whereas my friend wants to get married soonest, his girlfriend doesn't have any thought of marriage. they several times broke up because of the discrepancy in the marriage!! this is my typical thinking about the marriage, especially for the late 20s. when a woman starts her job after graduation, the age is around 25. then she would experience or has to work her ass off to get the monthly salary. then one day, she would realize it's not fucking easy to continue this life all alone. she would need somebody else to keep up with to stand alone financially or mentally. that's the time women want to get married. that's also what happened with my wife and me. we were working both our ass off to get financially independent on our own. but my friend's case, it is not the same as what I had with my wife. the woman he hangs wasn't the typical type of Korean. In fact, to be honest, I don't know I 100% understand their situation but seemingly the objection of this woman about marriage could derive from her maturity. maybe she just wants to hang a little more. sadly, my friend doesn't seem to have enough patience to wait 'little more'. 

I would love to see how and where these two guys future would go. Because they are so-called my BF. I do expect and want them to live in happiness.